Bibi & Biwi No. 2?

I Love it. I just love it. The Zardaris are at it again - denying any knowledge of the Surry Mansion. Isn't that precious ? Over Pound 3 million has been lavished on what sound alarmingly like a James Bond film set. And yet, the beauteous Banazir insists she does not know whether such a property exists. You Know some thing ? Maybe she is telling the truth. May be she really and truly does not know. How come? Because the wife is always the last one to find out. Or so the cliché goes.

I remember talking to Pakistani journalists more than two years ago. And I recall their wink, nudge- nudge, snigger - snigger stories about Arif ('The Stud') Zardari's fancylove nest in England. "Poor Bibi," they'dsympathised, "she is such as gullible fool. It is all her money, anyway. And Zardari is spending it on another woman ."According to rumours circulating at the time, Zardari had taken another wife. A much younger London based woman who enjoyed the support of Zardari senior.

Girlfriends? Benazir's errant husband had had several of those. But this time, the Maamla was serious. They were talking about Biwi No 2, while poor Benazir was fighting for political survival and picking up all the bills. " Asif is a deadly charmer. No woman can resist him," gossips had volunteered, "not even his wife, who is completely besotted by the fellow." Poor taste runs in families obviously.

I' d found that exceedingly hard to believe. Four years ago, I happened to be seated right behind 'The Stud' at the polo match in Lahore . I' d stared long and hard at the man, who even than was known as Mr 10 Per Cent in his country. The person relaxing less than two feet away from me, was hardly matinee. Short, stock, buck - toothed and sparsehaired, he resembled ayounger version of Zia - ul- Haq ---not the world's best looking general, you'll agree. It's not about good looks," a local had clarified, Zardari has a way with women." Apparently, he also had a way with money, going by Paul Keating's ( The british building contractor who kept detailed minutes of all the meetings) quotes. Zardari's Surrey Mansion would have given the gizmo obsessed 007 villains a run for their money. According to the canny Keating crates weighing 7.5 tonnes arrived at Heatrow a few years ago. 7.5 tonnes of what ? Oh, you know , the sort of toys rich playboys cannot resist --- antique rifles, stuffed tigers, priceless carvings and so on. Security ? No problem, there was a pound 70,000 in house security system, if that was needed at all, in a home that had a specially reinforced bomb-proof master- bedroom. A romantic love - nest ? Are you kidding ? It sounded more and more like Colonel Gaddafi's bullet - proof shelter. What was Zardari so scared of ? Pakistani generals baying for his blood ? Business rivals out to get him ? Or the wrath of a jilted wife on the warpath ? Whatever it was he feared , Zardari wasn't taking any chances. And he was willing to pay the top buck for protecting his skin.

Ms Bhutto's recent statement have been deliciously oblique. Afew month ago, she'd all but renounced her marriage. Then retracted the earlier statements. Now she says she'd been "told" about this mansion by people. But pouts B.B. , when she confronted her own husband with the rumours more than 10times," he assured her it was not true. And the sweet darling believed him neat, huh ?

So what is the real story ? And do we care ? Yes, we do. A great deal of funny business is taking place across the border. Aformer Prime Minister is likeky to be hanged for treason. A former prime minister's husband is being charged with corruption. General Musharraf is saying : "Democracy? What democracy ? or words to the effect . There are ther hawks in the Pakistani Army who are issuing unnecessarily provocative statements. Car - launched rocket attacks are paralysing the capital and we shouldn't be nervous ? Hey , let's face it. All these developments are making us jittery. Very jittery. Musharraf has reduced democracy to alabel . And he is in no hurry to stick it on his country. That is scary . If the head honcho regard fundamental right as stick on job designed to please the western world, what kind of dialogue is possible ?

The Surrey mansion and the mystery surrounding its existence and / or ownership is symbolic of all that is rotten with Pakistan . Maybe some one like Lord Paul should offer to buy it off Zardari's front man . That May divert everybody's attention from something far more dangerous another confrontation with Pervez Musharraf's men.