Jammu and Kashmir Chief Minister Farooq Abdullah, when he isn't promoting his state's cuisine in the Capital, spends his time blaming the system he himself has created. Notorious for his off-the-cuff remarks, Abdullah complained recently about the large number of government holidays in the state, ignoring for the moment that he himself had gifted 49 off-days to state employees this year. That didn't stop him from complaining, though: ``God knows what will happen to the state with much of the calendar being consumed by holidays.''

But Farooq-watchers are used to seeing his thoughts contradicting his deeds. Never one to spare the bureaucracy for its profligate ways, or the Centre for being responsible for the state's financial stringency, the CM was the first to host a lavish Iftar party. Naturally, some of his senior ministers followed his example, and no one bought the line that the CM and his ministers had picked up the tab.

Musical Mamata

There's more on MamataBanerjee's crowded mind these days than the wretched Railways portfolio. But when the Royal Bengal Tigress disclosed her lasting regret at a public gathering in hometown Calcutta not so long ago, quite a few hacks were derailed. Mamata revealed that she had always wanted to be a singer, but now, all she can do is roar, thanks to all those public meetings where she takes on sundry enemies. ``Give me a break for 15 days from these meetings and I'll give you a song,'' she promises. Now, that may be music to Atal Behari Vajpayee's crisis-a-minute dispensation, but the PM mustn't forget that Jadavpur's Mamatadi is as unpredictable as the tides of the Hooghly. Even when she breaks into a song, there's no guarantee that the notes won't be jarring.

Maneka Goes Olive Green

Maneka Gandhi's love for animals is no secret. But during a recent visit to Pune's Queen Mary Technical Institute for Disabled Soldiers, where officers and jawans injured in the course of duty get rehabilitation training, it was heraffection for the men in olive green that got many eyes wet.

The `Army brat' told a small gathering of amused wheelchair-bound men that for many years in her life she had thought of people as ``us'' and ``them civilians.'' Being Maneka, though, she's found a bridge. She advised the disabled men to opt for veterinary compounder training courses. ``I'll make sure all such trained soldiers are accommodated by my Ministry,'' she added.Some more advice, completely housewifely in character, came on the glories of wielding the rolling pin. Recommending the courses in papad-making, she let out the other side of the fire-spewing animal rights crusader: ``The rolling motion involved in making chapattis is very soothing. I always find that and washing clothes very relieving whenever I am upset.'' And even as the men in uniform digested pleasant visions of the minister rolling out chapattis for her menagerie, the green politico whizzed off in her gleaming-white Ambassador.

Kiss & Tell

While on Vajpayee'sfeline friends, how can we ignore the redoubtable Bal Thackeray? Had it not been for him, wouldn't our veejays have appeared more brainless they are? Channel V's Marc Robinson and Sophiya, for instance.

At the Diana My Best Friend's Wedding King concert at Panaji recently, Marc, ear-stud and all, yelled to the crowd: ``I can do whatever I want here, guys, even play cricket -- no one to dig up the pitches.'' Sophiya, appearing in a pair of really short shorts, fashionably unbuttoned, joined Marc on stage for some chemistry under the arclights.

``Some time back, we got into trouble for doing something, y'know,'' gushed Marc. ``Yeah,'' cooed Sophiya. ``Do you think it's bad?'' The two then went on to smooch long and hard, and the crowd roared its approval. Of course, Thackeray, and his morality-minder Pramod Navalkar, who had cracked down on canoodling couples at Mumbai's Rang Bhavan during the Savage Garden fest a few months ago, were busy stoking other passions.

Folk Fundas