Mangeshkar, who is receiving her Padma Vibhushan early next week from President K R Narayanan, says this is the reason she has not retired from singing as she had once planned.

Her spiritual guru, Shri Jammujee Maharaj, she says, asked her to concentrate on classical singing.

In a two-part interview on the programme Ru-ba-Ru on Zee TV, the singer said she now wanted to sing the Srimad Bhagwat Gita and Kabir, Surdas, and Tulsidas compositions. ``In my career, this is the only vacuum which bothers me. If I would have started it earlier, it would have been better as it is very tough now, but I will try my level best,'' she added.

Mangeshkar began singing at the age of 13 when her father Pandit Dinanath Mangeshkar died. Asked why she did not get married, she said, ``I wasso busy with my work that it never occurred to me. I had to take care of my nine-member family and I was slogging only for that. I am happy the way I am. I do not feel any loneliness''. Mangeshkar denied that she ever had differences with her sister Asha Bhosle or impeded her career, and asked, ``If I had not allowed Asha to grow, how has she reached this position?''

She reiterated that she had helped new singers and had even given a song to Suman Kalyanpur after having rehearsed it. ``I know how good or bad I am. I know whether I have harmed someone or not. Instead of denying these stories, I concentrate on my pooja.''

On differences with music directors, she admitted that she was known as a `brawler' and often lost her cool. Adding that there were many reasons for these fights, she said she did not get angry any more.

She added that many difficulties came with being Lata Mangeshkar. ``You need to tolerate a lot, you need to listen a lot. Sometimes I pray god that in my next birth, I should not be LataMangeshkar. I would prefer to be a boy born in any family in Maharashtra where I can lead a comfortable life.''