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Shailaja Bajpai
In the 47th. over, Ajay Jadeja did the impossible: he smiled and chewed gum simultaneously. He's a happy character, explained Ravi Shastri. Jadeja to Croft, loft and caught Kanitkar.The captain's dunnit, revealed Detective Geoffrey Boycott. Can you believe it? With immense difficulty, you replied under your breath (Coca Cola Cup, DDI).
Then Fairbrother snicked to Dravid. He's struck again, awestruck Shastri squealed. He's not bowled in 1999, he's not bowled in this tournament...He hasn't taken a wicket in two and a half years, corrected Boycott, uninterested in 1999. Next, Jadeja clean bowled Gough. Sensational scenes in Sharjah, shouted Shastri. I was sayin' earlier, the lower batting order is not very strong, remarked Boycott s(t)olid as Yorkshire pud. Sensational (he does like that word, doesn't he?) last over for Jadeja and India, raved Ravi. I think, thought Geoffrey aloud....
But who was listening? It was all over in one over. A very good win, the bowlers did a great job, the boys did a good job,Azhar managed, better known for his wrists than his adjectives or graciousness. His shoulders slumped like India does so often. This, then, was the secret of our defeats: not Captain Courageous but Captain Cowed. And time to Bow Out?
Earlier, when the Indian batsmen were scoring singles with alarming regularity, commentators Kirti Azad and Ian Chappel discussed food. What else was there to discuss? When a cricket match is so dull or as one-sided as the ones India recently lost to Pakistan, the commentary is about as entertaining as the contest. Stands to reason.
What do commentators talk about when the match is dead and dull? The weather: it's very hot out there, said Ian Chappell during the first few overs in the Indo-Pak encounter at Sharjah. Forty four degrees, he added, just in case you didn't believe him. Rameez Raja confirmed that indeed, it was hot more than could be said for the tepidity of the game. Indeed, the action was so pedestrian, Chappell decided he would much rather describe ShahidAfridi's...hand. You see, he'd shaken it just that morning. It's a very firm hand, he concluded. When he let go, I looked to see if my fingers were all there, he continued, (probably) looking them over again. Yes, he's a strong man, he's a Pathan, you know, Raja told Chappell who did not know. The Pathans? They're a fighting tribe aren't they, the Australian asked in the kind of curious tone we'd reserve for questions about the Aborigines. Yes, confirmed Raja, very hard workers and good looking people as well, he added. (Why that should interest Chappell we couldn't tell). You from those parts as well, asked Chappell (no doubt) casting an admiring glance over Raja's grey shirt. You must be joking, replied the embarrassed guy. It was 10 for no loss.
Now it was Raja's turn to discuss the human anatomy. Prasad's shoulders are drooping, he remarked, his body language is not good. What did Raja expect from a guy suffering viral fever in 44 degrees heat -- acrobatic somersaults? Indeed, it was remarkable howlittle the commentators seemed to know: at no stage while they rather deprecatingly described Prasad shading himself, did either mention the possibility of his being ill.
Where were we? Oh yes, with Chappell as Saeed Anwar took off for a cheeky single. Ooh, he exclaimed admiringly as Anwar was halfway down the pitch, well run by the Pakistanis. Or is it so well run, he wondered as the throw from Kumble hit the stumps and dislogded the bails before Anwar reached the crease. Not well run but very well run out. Not a good call, opined Raja. It was 11 for 1.
It would be 50 for one very soon as Ijaz Ahmed lit into both the fast bowlers. Each time either of them came into bowl, you heard the crowd oooooh in anticipation. Ijaz hit Srinath for two fours. He hoiked Prasad for a six. Ijaz has grown in confidence, explained Raja lest the viewer hadn't noticed.
He seems to have left off from where he was yesterday, said a somewhat addled Ravi Shastri who had taken over from where Chappell and Raja had left off. Hisforearms are like a blacksmith's, eulogised Barry Richards and you wondered whether he too had been checking out the Pakistani physique. Now in his part of the world, such a description maybe a macho compliment but where we come from, a lohaar is hardly the object of our affection, sorry admiration. Hardly like a film star.
Pyar mohabbat Coca Cola, sang actor Aamir Khan.
Copyright © 1999 Indian Express Newspapers (Bombay) Ltd.
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