I am...Sangita Pillai and married for the past 15 years to a merchant navy officer. We have two daughters aged 11 and seven. I used to work as a visualiser at an advertising agency before marriage and continued for two years afterwards. Then sailing with my husband took priority and I decided to give up my work. After that kids came and all combined ensured I could not go back to work.

My day involves...The morning mad rush of school bags, lunch dabbas and honking of the school bus. Then comes the housework-cleaning, cooking, dusting, making beds that takes up most of my time. Then the kids are back and in the evening I take them out for a swim or the park. It's only after dinner and once the kids are in bed that I get the time for myself-to read or watch TV or catch up on anything else.

Managing a house is a full time job...and thus a very tiring one too. Especially since I like to do almost everything myself like cooking, washing the clothes, ironing them, tidying up the place and so on. I like everything spic and span and though I don't do all the jobs in one day, even by phasing out the work it can all get quite tiring. Cleaning the kitchen is a daily chore while something like sorting out the cupboards can be a weekly one.

Usually in a day I do my set routine of chores with one special one added on. I am not in favour of servants doing anything more than sweeping and mopping. I really believe that it makes a big difference to the home if you do the work with your own hands. Of course there is that danger of getting a little paranoid about cleanliness to which I must admit too. I realised it especially when a friend who saw me wiping the kitchen table a little too often during her visit remarked `God you are worse than my mother in law!'

The house decor...Here again I like to put up a lot of our personal things. Like family photographs, my own paintings. These soft boards with my daughters' pictures was just an idea that turned out well. Then, since everyone would ask me which board is which daughters I decided to write their names all over the background. As they grow up I plan to change the photographs too. I guess something made with your own hands adds much more to a home than an impersonal artifact picked up from the market. I like the pieces displayed in my home to have some memories and sentiments behind them.

Kids capers...can drive you nuts. So I do have some rules in the house like ensuring that they sleep early during the week days so that they can get up in time for the school. Then I like them to eat whatever is cooked in the house and not pick and choose. Also I let them have small helpings if they want rather than over loading their plates because I have taught them that food should not be left over in the plate. I abhor wastage. Also television is only permitted on weekends.

I would like to give my daughters as much freedom and opportunity one gives sons. Right now my elder daughter is at a stage when she's like a rebel, always trying to argue out her point of view. Her whole life revolves around friends and having fun. I guess this is a phase. Sibling fights are my greatest nightmares. I have still not found a solution to this-how to side with one without making the other feel persecuted. Anyone with any tips out there?

Hubby management... is easier than the house management. Actually he's really helpful in the house because he does all the outside work like buying vegetables, groceries etc. He also makes the morning tea for me whenever he's at home.

Then the best part is that when he's there the kids are much more manageable. At least they listen to him. Also he takes care of the elder one's studies. Life in general becomes easier and more peaceful when the man of the house is around.

We squabble over....a hundred different things. From kids, to things to his driving. However earlier I used to argue about everything and slowly realised that by doing so I only end up making things worse. These days when I get angry I simply clam up and don't talk to my husband for some time, maybe even a couple of days. Inevitably it cools him down too and makes him realise that I was right-since I generally am most of the time!

Relationships-in-law: I am fortunate to have wonderful in laws. We were staying together for about seven years in Mumbai before we moved to Pune. However I do think nuclear families are as sensible as joint ones. Especially once you have kids and your family grows it gives everyone more space. The key to getting along with in laws is to try and take out this concept of your parents and my parents from one's mind. After marriage both sets of parents should be `our' parents.

I save on... well, since I do most of the housework myself I guess that's a substantial saving that happens automatically every month.

I splurge on... Eating out. But usually only when my husband is in town.

When domesticity becomes a bore... you do get the feeling often that you are really not doing anything worthwhile with your life. You miss going out and meeting people, dressing up and doing something other than housework. One also starts feeling that you ultimately get taken for granted most of the time. However on the flip side I don't think I would be able to manage work and home now. I have had such a long break from work than one loses the confidence to take it up again. Then you cannot really do full justice to both this way. Guess its better to have a full time commitment to one sphere that a 50-50 one to both.

Secret of a happy home: I think if you have a happy marriage you also have a happy home. And marriage is really all about adjustments-to each other's needs, moods and nature.