Thus reads the story of the 8,000 strong transgender community of Kolkata — discrimination fuelled by misconceptions. “Aren’t transsexuals same as hijras?” asks Chitralekha Chatterjee, a student of Bhawanipore Gujarati Education Society, voicing a question which most of us are too prudish to ask. “Transgender is an umbrella term which is a applied to a variety of individuals, behaviors, and groups involving tendencies that diverge from the normative gender role. It does not assign to any particular sexual orientation,” says Anindya Hajra of Pratyay Gender Trust, which deals with alternate sexuality.

Anirban Chaki (name changed on request), a 45-year-old LIC agent elaborates. “I always wanted to be a woman, not because I’m attracted to men but because I feel I am a woman deep inside. When I become a woman I would want to be in relationships with other women,” he says. But Chaki will probably never realise his dream. His responsibilities towards his wife and his children have thwarted his desires. “I have to continuously curb my transsexual desires. Our society is merciless towards any kind of deviant behaviour. Even if I come for a solidarity rally such as these I have to answer a thousand questions from friends, family and colleagues,” he rues.

While Chaki’s is a story of repression, Tista’s is one of perseverance and determination. Fighting all kind of adversities, including initial parental opposition and non-cooperation from hospital authorities, Tista completed her transition from a man’s body to that of a woman’s, a process that took her 8 tedious years. “But my battle is only half-complete. There are thousands others like me who face discrimination everyday and have no one to turn to. I’m a transsexual and I knew what I wanted, but there are others who have different needs and desires. But the discrimination we all face is the same,” states Tista, who counsels members of the transgender community for a Pratyay Gender Trust.

Rehan, a woman in the process of being a man, voices similar concerns. “I don’t think the society will ever comprehend our needs and desires. I’m a man who was once a woman, and I want to be accepted as one, but the reality is quite to the contrary. Moreover, there are other women who simply like to dress up as men, for which they are instantly branded. We need support system for the entire spectrum,” says Rehan, who is trying to build a “normal life” as a teacher in a high school.

And a spectrum it is. Between a Rehan and a Tista, there are thousand other states of being which cannot quite be defined. If you belong to the transgender community of Kolkata, chances are that you will have to deal with labels like ‘koti’ (a colloquial term for a feminine man), hijra or simply ‘homo chhele’. “Am I a koti or a transsexual? I don’t quite know. At times I feel like a woman, which is why I go out dressed up in female attire. And at other times I feel like a man. How can I categorize feelings?” asks Bobby a twenty-something BPO employee, who refuses to define himself with any particular gender identity.