Let us, drop our antagonistic approach and acknowledge once and for all that nature intended for us to be together and to negotiate this obstacle course/ adventure as partners. We need men just as much as they need us. There! I've said it and feel just as, or more empowered for having set the cat amongst the pigeons.

As a little girl, my grandfather used to carry me on his shoulders all the way from our home on East Street up the Lullanagar Road to the foot of Baker's Hill on Sunday mornings. He told me stories about our ancestors, about Sind our home land.That's what grandfathers are for. My grandfather gave me identity. He gave me the perspective of his shoulders so that I had a bigger picture and could look ahead. His tough, hard-worn walking stick assured me that I was protected till I was strong enough to carve out my own stick from the jungle of life.

My father taught me without many words. He showed me that to give is to receive. He was a role model for commitment and hard work. He also gave me a sense that I was very very special and precious. This positive self esteem helps me to bounce off negative messages to this day.

This is what every woman wants for her daughter: the warmth and security that grandfathers and fathers can provide. How many men realise how important they are to the empowerment of the women in their lives? To be loved and cherished. To be supported in the seemingly mundane struggles of day to day life is a perpetual desire.

But is it not what every man also wants from his wife/partner/ woman-friend? The difference lies in how eager and able men are to fulfill these basic emotional needs. How many men acknowledge the need and how many will pause in their role as efficient providers to develop some soft skills that make their woman feel appreciated?

While women are socially conditioned to satisfy the needs of men, (emotional and physical), we are also conditioned not to expect the same consideration from men. From this has come the feminist myth that 'We are fine', 'We are strong' etc. We are buying into the idea that men will not fulfill our needs, it's no point expecting it from them.

Men can and some do support women in their fight against the age old discriminations in the world of education and work, to counter sexual harassment, to stave off dowry demands, to recover from personal traumas. History bears witness to men who have stood up for the rights of their women. In fact empowerment of women without the participation of men is impossible, because there cannot be women's empowerment without the emotional empowerment of men.