So what if they’ve elected someone who was elected many moons ago and someone else who I believe they used to allegedly (okay, so I know enough about politics that you should put words like “allegedly” before bitching someone out) be called Mr 10 Per Cent. And that’s a cool name if there ever was one. Though now what will they call him, I wonder out aloud? Mr 33.33 Per Cent?

Because surely, and allegedly, prices should have gone up by now? But anyway none of this has anything to do with my point which is thus: What happens to The General?

I have a theory, of course: I think he is going to join the IPL. In fact, I’m sure of it.

Last week only they were saying that after retirement everyone is joining IPL. In fact, some people are taking VRS also to join IPL. Like that Gilchrist fellow, waving his bat in all the stadiums in Australia.

Which brings me to a strange thing: Have you noticed that Mumbai has not bought any wicket keeper? You think a Master Genius like Sachin would have forgotten such a basic thing or what? Nah re!

I’m thinking it is like what they are saying on trains that pass through Bihar: “It is all paalitics.” And I think there is a master plan. I think Pawar sahib must have felt bad and whispered in Sachin’s ear on the eve of the auction: “Keep one place for that poor fellow Mush.”

Then Sachin must have protested: “But, chiala, he’s a politician!”

And Pawar Sahib must have brushed him away saying: “So what, Imran was a cricketer, fair is fair.”

Then all the gun-toting black cats must have swooped down and taken Sahib to his next meeting leaving poor Little Champion all alone. So Sachin must have thought what to do, what to do, and finally decided let us make him wicketkeeper because then he can stand behind the stumps and make speeches into the stump mic with dark glasses on.

The only problem was whether they would allow Mush to wear yet another uniform. So I think Pawar Sahib has made an exception in his case and he will be allowed to wear “dress as you like” clothes. But then some people are saying that America will not be happy with that because suppose he decides to wear army clothes then what? But I don’t agree with this because I think America has enough problems of its own trying to decide whether to elect a black President or a woman President while everybody knows that this too is decided and eventually it will be a white, man President (and we all know what happened the last time they did that).

In fact, I think BCCI should worry about a bigger problem (and I am surprised that Pawar Sahib hasn’t thought of this). Which is: The General is not a Marathi Manoos.

Then how he can become wicketie for Mumbai, haan? How they can give such important jobs to people who are living beyond North India even? Nah, re nah! There will be big problems. They will drag him out of his taxi and cause big dangaa. And I think someone should have thought of this because ultimately who will pay?

We only. Which is why I am absolutely, positively sure that in Budget 2008, Chidambaram Saar will raise taxes!

Postscript: Incidentally I also noticed that Mumbai does not have any all-rounder. I think they are keeping that also for later: When Bush goes.

And so on and so forth and see ya next election.