MY ears are still ringing! That’s the price of watching the budget with Lola Kutty. The special sops for coir producing states is great news indeed!

And now finally her beloved hot coffee has been bestowed the same status as the lowly tea. Polyester is going to be cheaper (the customs duty on polyester has been reduced from 10% to 7.5%); so we can all start wearing really cool shirts like Alex.

The only irksome thing, from Lola’s perspective, is that the duty on sunflower oil has been reduced, but not on her choice of oil—coconut.

I hear a loud WHOOP of unadulterated joy from all our geek/bachelor friends too! A certain friend of mine (name withheld on request) will continue his habit of late night noodles, now that readymade foods have become cheaper. Of course, he will justify it by saying that it’s convenient.

And just think about it. No more Hawaii or Chattaii Chappals! All of us can now finally buy Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blahnik (so what if they’re only for women)—footwear is set to blaze new trails only there’s no place to walk with all this digging up all over. But then again let’s not crib about infrastructure, since the air is going to get much cleaner this year, what with the FM’s generous reduction of duties on mouth freshener (the excise duty on pan masala without tobacco as mouth freshner has been reduced from 66% to 45%).

And, of course, let us not forget the 5,763 water bodies that this Budget will unleash (the World Bank has signed a loan agreement with Tamil Nadu for Rs 2,182 crore to restore 5,763 water bodies). I can already see Bikini Calendar Scouts scurrying towards them to claim new “theme” locations.

I am really happy that the FM has kindly brought down the duty on pet foods (30%). At least one member in some families would be able to eat. And, this might bring about a new diet revolution—imagine the headlines “Supermodel gets Purrfect figure. Thanks Whiskas.”

The allocation for total sanitation campaign has been increased. Thank the Lord—imagine what we’d get with a Partial Sanitation Campaign.

However, let me state emphatically that I am really perturbed and shattered by the fact that I will now have to postpone buying our private jet for a bit. This is not fair, really—just when I’d placed my order.

I’ll just have to wait till next year. And be happy playing with my non-farm equipment.