Tequilla Sunrise

RAGING consumerism as inherent in the ad spends of most major agencies show that a billion people have a mantra that no one can seem to get enough of. Information Technology has fuelled a whole new wave of dotcom fever that assails one’s senses in more ways than one. But the backbone old industry is not about to pack its bags and call it a day and seems to be matching the new chaps on the block, green back to green back. If I had to remove my rose-tinted glasses and take an objective view of the headline news these past few weeks, I could make out a pretty strong case for, ‘Why India’?

The betting scandal in cricket is a direct result of the huge ad spends that chase our boys both on and off the field. Take that argument a step further, and put on your thinking cap, it is easy to come to the conclusion that India is, and will remain, the largest cricket-obsessed viewing nation in the world. I don’t think China will ever join the white flannel ranks, even not after Hongkong. It is a well-known fact that when India fails to make it to the last four in the qualifying rounds of the cricket tournament, the whole nation with a common will, which is as rare as it is unique, switches off.

When the viewership drops so drastically, it pulls the plug on revenue spent that could have translated to money in the bank, had the nation stayed glued to their TVs. Now comes a moral dilemma locked, as it is, on the norms of national pride, should our team average at best, and used as they are to being bailed out, be betted back into the game and if so, to which nation falls the rare honour of losing in the face of victory. To get TV viewership and pump the TRPs up to get the adrenaline flowing in the betting syndicates, you need India in the semis, if not the finals. So which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Take another equally potent example. In the past few years or so, we have had a bevy of made-for-TV beauties snatch Miss Universe and Miss World titles right from under the noses of the invincible Venezualians and other South American compatriots. Don’t for a minute think I am knocking our home spun beauties. Certainly not. They, under the able tutelage of Femina, are the perfect 10 by the time they leave Indian shores for the finals in some exotic locale. The world, specially the USA, Europe and Asean have scant respect for beauty contests, however beautiful, intelligent and “all there” these ladies with attitude seem, the western Hemisphere shuns them ‘en mass’ at beauty pageants. Yet, India, with a billion people and a very voyeuristic interest in half-naked ladies, laps it all up and where the people go, can the ad man of the media, a savvy promoter, be far behind? For arguments sake; if Miss India did not make it to the last five, the nation as one, would switch channels and the TRPs and ad spend would come crashing through the consumer roof.

So hey! With a little help from a group of “aestheticians” and body moulders, we have a girl with the basics — good smile, nice teeth, good skin, tall, slim — moulded into a 21st century Amazon. Now she spouts Proust at the wave of the magic mike, now she purrs like a pussy cat. With the collective will of a nation of whistle blowers, pun intended, she makes it to the finals and when the crown is placed delicately on her head, no tears of joy, but a confident stride which handles a whobby crown, armful of honours. Popping flashbulbs all with the aplomb of a diva. The TRPs are now going ballistic, the ad man is laughing all the way to the bank and the headlines of the next few days chronicle our ‘desi queen’ into a happily-ever-after syndrome.

Hey! but she still has to tackle the ‘mother’ of all wolves in the Big Bad Apple — Donald Trump — to avoid becoming one of his trumpets, she must learn parring and fencing in a hurry. Gosh! and who said woman’s work is ever done. The Venezualans, on the South American, ‘Latino’ beauty, the rage till five years ago, was there for TRP ratings and ad spend too. South Americans and Hispanics have as much of an obsession for beauty contests as we do, but a billion people?

So, Indian beauty, which, in the case of Aishwarya Rai, Yukta Mookhey, Sushmita, Diana Hayden and Lara Dutta, has certainly come of age, I doff my cap to, and the people behind their beauty secrets. May we continue to breed savvy, titilating lovelies who are in the know, but pause to understand fully the impact of a billion Indians. Thrills and chills? A Tequilla Sunrise anyone?