What do Indian banks and US President Bill Clinton have in common? "Partial autonomy", or so does IBA chairman A T Pannir Selvam thinks. The written speech of Selvam, welcoming finance minister Yashwant Sinha at the inaugural session, has this gem: "Give autonomy a chance. We are not seeking full autonomy. Even Bill Clinton doesn't enjoy it." However, while delivering the speech, good sense prevailed and Selvam decided to omit the line. One wonders, what point did he want to prove by this reference!

Selvam Does an Encore

Yet another on Selvam. Did some one say he was running short of ideas? It could be, if one looks at his "performance" on two consecutive days. He repeated his first speech delivered on the inaugural day -- drafted to draw finance minister Sinha's attention to woes of bankers -- on the second day in the presence of RBI governor Bimal Jalan. The reason of this encore? RBI did not hear it on the first day. One does not know whether Jalan wasamused.

High & Dry

Talking about Sinha... He spoilt the fun for bankers on the inaugural day first giving his consent to attend the dinner and then opting out of it. In FM's presence, bankers felt it would not be prudent to worship Bacchus while Sinha is breaking bread with bankers. Hence at the last moment the idea of hosting the cocktail was dropped. But Sinha had other engagements and could not attend the dinner leaving bankers high and dry.

Banking On Vittal

Going by the trend of the first two days, the global conference on banking could not emerge as a great show for bankers. The person who stole the thunder from the seasoned bankers is none other than new chief vigilance commissioner N Vittal. First day Sinha was all praise for Vittal who graced the front row and on the second day it was the turn of Jalan to shower praise on Vittal. Even during the coffee break when bankers were eager to brush shoulders with Jalan, the RBI governor was all ears for Vittal and no bodyelse.

Singing A Different Tune

Though the first day's party was spoilt, IBA decided to make up the second day by being in sync with times. It was decided to have a rendering of Karnatic music by Vinayak Ram and his troupe on Wednesday. But Usha Uthup won the mandate of the majority. So pop turned the bankers and it was time for a little boogie woogie and bhangra with `Kali Teri Guth' lady. And as one grand old man of banking remarked: ``Why not, let us also move with the times."

Millennium Bug Fails to Bite

It does not come as a surprise that Indian bankers do not share the same urgency about Y2K problem. Hence, they do not reserve the same attention for the millennium bug as foreign bankers who are anxious to know why Indian bankers shrug confidently whenever they broach upon the issue. Indian banking missed the opportunity of computerisation in the eighties. And when the banks did receive a few computers, the procedure conscious `babu' always ensured that he kept a hard copy of alltransactions and dealings, thus doubling the workload. So Indian bankers are not unduly worried about what will happen on the night of December 31, 1999. CMD of a bank almost chuckled in glee: ``We are happy we are not computerised.'' Sometimes it is good to miss the bus.