Next, John burst from his 10th place in line, and crashed head first through a glass window, exiting into the parking lot, where he was run over by Mrs Plumptree's shopping cart!

Says a sobbing Mrs Plumptree, "I didn't see him coming. My Butterball turkey struck him in the head. I'm so sorry!"

What could have possibly made Mr Doe snap? Investigators believe that he had, in fact, had similar dealings with such long lines, and that it eventually drove him to the edge. Rare as it may seem, psychologists believe John suffered from linenomia.

Linenomia is a condition that exists, where the victim believes he is trapped, and cannot escape the very line which he stands in. Says psychologist Richard S Insecure, "I believe that John Doe was a victim of his own delusions. While being a prisoner of the very lines he waited in, Mr Doe suffered from linenomia. Instead of choosing a new line, the victim became psychotic, and crashed through a window. He viewed his situation as dismal, and just snapped!"

Evidently, John Doe's problem started much earlier in the day, as eyewitnesses sensed his agitation. First, John was seen waiting in line at the bank. People who saw him say he was biting his nails, pacing and swearing a lot.

Next, John waited in line at the movie rental place. There, the manager recalled how John screamed from the back of the line, "Jesus Christ! He's writing a cheque for one movie. Get some cash buddy, and get the hell out of the line!"

Thirdly, John became irritated, as the cashier at Walmart had to make a price check on a pack of gum. Eyewitnesses say Mr Doe was about third in line.

Apparently, John picked up a pack of Bubbablicious and threw it at the employee, screaming, "Chew on this!" Finally, Mr Doe's linenomia hit phobic levels, while he was eighth in line, as a customer paid for his groceries with food stamps. John Doe exclaimed, "Get a real job you f... bum!"

After this, Mr Doe throw up his hands in disgust, and bolted from the line, crashing through the glass window, where he was run over by a shopping cart.

Courtesy absurdtimes.com