As the old adage goes, behind every unsuccessful man, there's a successful woman. So it was that as he was about to be whipped by his silicon nemesis, the hope of humanity, the standard-bearer of mankind, otherwise known as Garry Kasparov, turned behind to cast furtive glances at his mother. Too late: Qxc4 Kb7. Checkmate. Mankind has lost out to the machine. Only womankind remains.

It was Mothers' Day and Klara Kasparova, who had shared her son's anxiety that day at Manhattan's Equitable Center, wasn't amused. Garry had let her down. The winner's purse -- a whopping $700,000 would go to a contraption which couldn't even smell kosher food, could you believe it? O darn darn.

Who wants the loser's $400,000 when Garry could have had everything.

In Yeltsin's Russia, dollars do matter. In fact it's the only thing that matters.

Klara woke up from her reverie with a start. The match was long over, and Garry, looking in turns shell-shocked and miserable, was addressing a press conference. His pallor was a deep blue. She strained to hear what he was saying.``My biggest mistake was following the advice of computer experts who recommended I play this way.''

What nonsense. His biggest mistake was to spend too much time on his new-found diversions: a new wife (what good can she do), a six-month old baby, politics, instead of following her carefully-laid-out strict regimen of chess, chess, and more chess. Now he was talking too much like the Americans. The fashionably trim, unnervingly fretful one-time scientist, now manager of Garry's fortunes, thrust herself forward. ``Garry please,'' she urged while making a frantic timeout signal. The defeated man nodded: ``Yes mama.''

Kennedy clan conflict

From New York we turn to Massachusetts, home to the debaucheries of the third generation Kennedy clan. The latest to hog the headlines is Michael Kennedy, son of the slain Robert Kennedy. The Boston Globe reports that his wife Vicky, from whom he is currently separated, had caught him having pants-down Quality Time with his baby-sitter. Nothing new as far as the Kennedys are concerned. But full marks to Michael for originality, since he apparently told his wife something like, ``Hi honey. We were discussing my alcohol problem.'' Michael's attempt to give a cerebral dimension to an essentially physical effort couldn't, however, mask the fact that the baby-sitter was, well, a baby. Some reports say the relationship began when the girl was only 14. And if it's known that it was a case of bed-at-first-sight, the cops wouldn't waste any time in charging Michael since a sexual relationship with those under 16 is considered statutory rape under Massachusetts law. But the girl has to complain, and so far she has been unable to shrug off Kennedy's warmth and charmth (sic).

Safe sex, unsafe age

From the Philippines, which the Yanks once wanted to make the ``51st State of the goddamn Union'', comes the news of bad tidings for the country's ``queen of safe sex''. Sarah Jane Salazar, 22, had turned national heroine after she appeared on TV tearfully relating how she contracted AIDS while working in a Japanese nightclub. A grateful government hired her to promote its AIDS awareness programme. But it now transpires that at the same time she was traversing the country preaching the values of safe sex, she was cuddling up in bed with a 15-year-old truant by name Ritchie `Che Che' Atizada, whom she had taken as her lover. Now she is in full-blown pregnancy. So far `Che Che' hasn't alleged a foreign hand, and has accepted Salazar's invitation to marry when he turns 18. But the Government ain't pleased. Public prosecutors are preparing briefs to charge her under laws which could land her in jail for up to 64 years, for having sex with a minor and putting him in risk of contracting AIDS. Salazar, who is expecting her child next month, isn't sitting idle. After giving the kiss of death to her former cause, the one-time safe sex queen is busy negotiating a $120,000 film deal, her bread-ticket for the future.

Copyright © 1997 Indian Express Newspapers (Bombay) Ltd.