In a 100-sq ft shed covered with tin sheets, all her belongings are pushed aside to make room for a place of worship. The pantheon of Hindu dieties seem diminished by two garlanded frames of a little girl and a boy. Kastur Venkat Kahale (25), cannot come to terms with the death of her children and husband.

Kahale describes the gory scene from four years ago: ``I was sleeping in the hut with my children on either side. Suddenly the ground shook and I fell flat on top of my children as the debris covered me completely. I could hear the rescue teams but nobody could hear my screams. My children died of suffocation.'' Alone, Kahale says she cannot sleep at nights because she misses them too much. She would like to have a family again, but even talking to men draws suspicion and ridicule.

As the survivors of the country's worst calamity pick up the threads of their lives, socio-economic compulsions over-rule reason and emotion. Four years after the devastating earthquake in Latur on September 30, 1993, nearly 1,500 widows have not re-married. Many of the widowers, on the other hand, who outnumber quake widows by seven to one, have been able to remarry.

Seeped in tradition, men and women from affected villages such as, Killari, Sastur, Kawtha, Umarga, Babalsur, Pethsangli, Mangrul, Holi and Raghuchiwadi, among others, spurn the very mention of widow remarriage. Says a woman from Killari: ``A widow's family, or even her neighbours will never dream of such a thing. It is not done in Marathwada.''

In Nandurga a woman speaks of her 25-year-old sister-in-law: ``She has two children. She is past her prime now. How can she marry?'' But in the same area, nobody raises an eyebrow when a 60-70-year old marries a teenager.An aging Baburao Bhosale claims he is 45-years old. Seven months after the earthquake, he married Popatbai, who is now 21. The couple's daughter, Indrabai, is now three-years old. Justifying his remarriage, Bhosale proudly says: ``Men have the right to marry thrice, women must marry only once. We are only following the rules set by our ancestors. I lost my mother, wife and daughters in the earthquake. What can one do, when there is nobody to cook.''

Bhosale lost 12 members of his family, including his wife and grown-up children in the quake. Buried under the debris for over five hours, Bhosale himself had suffered from multiple fractures and had over 10 stitches on his face. Describing his experience, he says: ``Somebody heard me screaming. They must be dacoits, because they were more interested in looking for women's bodies as they would find jewellery on them.''

Bhosale's marriage to Popatbai, too, is a result of compelling economic conditions. Popatbai admits that she had never seen her husband before they were married, but Bhosale claims that Popatbai's mother is a cousin of his and the marriage was her idea. Bhosale has received Rs 1.5 lakh from the Government as compensation. Widowed at 22, Pratibha Panchappa Paramshetty from Killari, still considers herself lucky as she has three children to live for. ``What about widows with no children, at least they should be allowed to remarry. I got married when I was just nine-years old, and now my life is over. This is a great injustice.'' she says.

During the earthquake, Pratibha's husband was asleep in the school, where he worked as a peon. He died after the building collapsed while the rest of the family was safe at home. The Paramshettys do not own cultivable land, so Pratibha was given her late husband's job. She works in the school from 8.30 a.m. to 4.30 p.m. but has not been paid for the past few months as the school has no grants. ``They gave us Rs 200 once, so I continue to work in the hope that some more money will come in.'' Pratibha runs her home with the Rs 50,000 given by the Government as compensation. Since Pratibha's father-in-law died four months ago, she and her children have moved into a small tin shed. ``Our shed was in a lonely spot. I couldn't have lived there alone,'' she explains.

Sudhamati Dalvi and Mukta Ingle from Kangera village speak out against the double standards. Says Dalvi: ``Eight men and two women died from a family in Holi village. There were four widows and two young widowers, one of the widows was my niece. Both the widowers remarried and each has a child. The widows, two of them in their early 20s, however, are not permitted to remarry. Motabai Tavar, a Lamani (gypsy) from Nandurga, tells about a 90-year-old widower who married a 13-year old. ``The widows may eventually agree to remarry, but the men always insist on a virgin bride,'' she says. The bias against widow remarriage is so strong that even willing widowers back out for fear of being ostracised. After a middle-aged school teacher in Killari lost his wife his colleagues persuaded him to marry a widow. He agreed initially, but refused out when people said that nobody would marry his daughter after this. He then married a 20-year old girl.

Zia Sayyed, a Tata Institute of Social Sciences (TISS) Coordinator for Osmanabad and Latur, cites the case of one of the few rebels. Married for barely two months, a 22-year old girl from Killari lost her husband in the earthquake. She wanted to continue her education, work and ultimately remarry. A youth was ready to marry her. But her in-laws and her parents pressured her into changing her decision. She now lives with her parents and is studying in Class 12.

In another case, a woman from Sastur, who had three children and was expecting the fourth when she lost her husband in the earthquake, aborted the baby, picked up the Rs 75,000 compensation and her jewellery and eloped, leaving her children with her sister in law.

There are some rare cases of in-laws encouraging remarriage. But in this case, the girl would have preferred to remain a widow. Says Leela More, the President of the Stree Jagat Vikas Sanstha (SGVS): ``A young girl from Ghatnandu was married to a boy from Ambejogai. After the boy's death in the earthquake, his parents married the girl to their younger son who is disabled. This was to ensure that the girl does not return to her parents' home with all her dowry and the land she had inherited. The marriage was against the couple's wishes and both are unhappy now.''

The SGVS has been trying to create a platform for widows and widowers to come together. According to More, 120 couples have been matched but only four of them are from quake-hit Umerga and Osmanabad. The main problem is reaching out to widows, especially those from the higher socio-economic strata. According to Latur-based Dr D. Yande, who runs a clinic in Killari: ``Widow remarriage may be accepted among Vaishyas and Shudras, but most Maratha families here like the Deshmukhs, Patils and the Bhosales. believe that they are descendants of Shivaji and they will never compromise on bringing down the status of their clans.''

Copyright © 1997 Indian Express Newspapers (Bombay) Ltd.