Now we are told comes the ultimate virility scorcher! Viagra! To me the name revoltingly suggests a combination of Virility and the Niagara falls. Horror of Horrors'! One didn't imagine that pharmaceutical companies had spin doctors with such vivid imaginations. Anyway, I believe this new avatar of the aphro isclean sold out. Men are tearing their hair out in frustration, cheering news for the balding hair industry I am sure.

Anyway the latest reports suggest that heart attacks are a minor side effect of the miracle potion. I guess any vain man would say what a way to go! The other reported side effect is vision loss! Is there much point to the potion if the object of one's desire is dim to the vision, let alone the mind?

Back to the party, I wouldn't have even gone had it not been for my girlfriend of `Deewane' fame, Shweta Shetty, having just come down from Germany. Being wickedly plied with drinks from many an eager beaver we nonetheless stuck mostly to each other. Must admit a hands-down vote won adman Ashok Kurian -- steel mane with a frame to match the sexiest man in the nightclub.

Having known him for eons couldn't help but siddle up to him and tell! Which promptly got me a twirl around the dance floor to the song `Balle Balle'. Now, talk of Daler. I am sure he's another of the speciesthat doesn't need any of these new-fangled virility pills -- I remember not so long ago a titled princess connected to half of European royalty insisting, `I only want to meet Sardars'! Me thinks their reputation doth travel far and wide. Pardon the pun.

So, who are the users of these new heart attack pills? I could list a dozen or more creeps who don't have the grace to flirt, but have the audacity to grope. Then there are the feelers and the shakers, who most women instinctively try and steer clear of. They all seem to have bo, bb and are bg's -- for the uninitiated that stands for body odour, bad breath and big goofs. God forbid that this lot ever lay hands on the new drug but then again maybe they should, so we can finally say `RIP' on their tombstones.

All this begs the question does mankind need such a pill? Adam and Eve did fine with an apple! Lord Krishna by stealing his gopikas' clothes. So why the fuss. The fact is that man has lost confidence in his capacity to hold his own in a world filledwith strong confident women who are attractive to boot. Everywhere I go there is overwhelming evidence that there are more and more women who are attractive, strong, motivated, spiritual and have a no-nonsense attitude to male posturing. Every male has a bit of cowardice in him and deep down has a dreadful fear that he will not be able to `deliver'.

The `more' a woman has by way of looks, brains, wherewithal and a spirit to go with it, the more intimidated a man gets! Once he gets her, if he is lucky, he starts to get fearful of losing her and tries every trick in the book including Viagra to nail her to his side. They lie through their teeth, act -- though they've been through the hundred-odd mandatory women scalp count -- they never felt like this before, blah, blah.

Then comes love -- violins, misty eyes, roses, dreams, promises and then again the fear of losing, thus lying, juggling, circumventing the truth. Do you then blame them for doubting their own virility? That's when they need the Viagrabecause the routine wears thin once you've done it a few dozen times.

The law of the jungle and the law of diminishing returns ensure that to be able to `feel' man again one needs more than an apple a day So why not Viagra and what a way to go! RIP.