Scene 1: there are these dreadful alcohol advertisements swilling about on satellite TV channels -- so lip-smacking good we fear even babes may want milk cocktails. The Minister for Information and Broadcasting, newly ensconced in her ministerial berth at Shastri Bhavan, sees the ads; alternatively, other eyes see them for her. Either way, cause enough to shoot up her well-shaped eyebrows. Immediately, she summons the derelict channels' chief executives or their deputies and tells them to lay off advertising these injurious to health commercials. Swaraj suggests they might like to indulge in a spot of self-regulation (instead of a tot!) which is akin to asking an alcoholic to stop at one peg, but never mind the contradiction. Somewhat chastened, the top brass trundle off to the editing console (well, not quite, but metaphorically speaking). Pressstories follow revealing their plans to dilute their channels' thirst for liquor. The cry goes up -- three cheers for the minister!

Scene 2: the football World Cup appears on Doordarshan. And what do you think we have here? Why McDowell's golden bottle for `golden moments'. And Kingfisher (Mineral Water). Sponsoring the football coverage. McDowell's name even adorns the time-ticker during the matches. Prime time and as bold as someone who's had one too many. And there's nothing surrogate about it: the McDowell bottle is a whisky bottle and while the liquid inside it might not necessarily be whisky, it certainly isn't ganga jal either -- or what passes for it these days.

Now the Prasar Bharati Board might be parenting DD, but Swaraj is a sort of surrogate mother to it. Her wishes, her directives are being flouted by her very own. Tut-tut.

As far as the football is concerned, well some days the picture quality is good, other days the commentary is bad and somedays there is no commentary atall (Monday). One game there is one commentator, another game, two; that's how it goes. There's also this absolutely terrific Update show every evening in the company of Anupam Ghulati which previews and reviews matches. Laudable but for a minor problem with visuals: there aren't any. You tune in thinking you're gonna see all those delightful goals you missed the night before because your eyes had ballooned bigger than footballs; but all you get are a couple of graphics, tables and Ghulati's face -- hardly adequate compensation. Surely, Doordarshan can do better than this? Especially when other channels cannot broadcast highlights or replays even in their news bulletins. DD enjoys exclusive rights; it should, therefore, provide viewers with comprehensive coverage, not just live or recorded matches.

Enough about the Cup that runneth over (or is it the Cup of woe?). Back to the real world of drama. Watch Swaraj (Saturdays, DD1). It's another of those Independence day celebrations but unlike many otherdisappointing shows, this one is well-produced. Currently, we are watching Bhagat Singh and Co. planning their bombing (another explosive moment in our history!). There's some pace to the action, the angle shots heighten the suspense and the acting is well-simulated. The producers have spent time and effort and spread a little loving care -- it appears to be paying off.

Not so Thoda Hai Thodi Ki Zaroorat (Sony). The serial had the god-given opportunity to explore widowhood and maybe widow remarriage in a sympathetic, positive manner. It would have made a wonderful first. But for some reason, the serial has veered off the very promising start made to Kavita's life after her husband is killed accidentally. She had at least two men interested in making her happy again. Whether she wanted to let them do that or not is another matter; but we could have explored, alongwith her, the conflicts that arise in such a circumstance. Instead, we are watching her younger brother-in-law, Karan, caught between twowomen who love him. Tough luck. Maybe, hopefully, we will return to Kavita's first, tentative steps back into life, instead of retreating behind the shadow of her husband's death.

Warning: this week sees cricket in Sri Lanka, tennis from Wimbledon and football in France. Those who do not like Sports, should leave Earth. That, or bust the TV set or purchase another one. Decide.