Time was when kids were taught basic good manners and values and then let loose on society. But parents are no longer satisfied with just that. They want more from their progeny. And this is where personality development workshops come in.

Says Poonam Makar, who regularly holds such classes, ``Apart from the summer vacations, I conduct these workshops during other holidays too - Diwali, Christmas... - for kids from nine to 12 and for teenagers. I think such workshops are popular because the world has become excessively competitive. If one is not truly equipped with one's self, how will you deal with others?''

Which is just what these workshops train the children to do. Most basically aim to develop self-confidence, through public speaking, assertiveness training, etiquette, dealing with criticism...

Says Sucheta Kudale, a partner with Shirley Sequeira at Entre Nous, ``What we noticed was that when these kids come to us, they are shy and reserved. But when they leave, they have mastered the techniques of public speaking, becoming assertive.''

Kudale had a child in her class, whose mother tried to teach her some table manners. But the child just wouldn't follow instructions. Says Kudale, ``We took our kids to Holiday Inn, laid the table and showed them how to eat with a fork and knife. We were surprised when her mother called up weeks later to say that her child had finally picked up eating etiquette.

``Children are more prone to listen to outsiders than their own mothers. Moms tend to repeat themselves; that can sometimes be akin to nagging. At our workshops, we go down to their level, explain things and then leave the decision to them.''

A child may have picked up table manners because he wasn't nagged about it. But is it possible to develop one's personality, attitude, character traits, self-esteem, all in a matter of a week? Says Makar, ``The personality is a sum total of many things. And while it is not possible to develop this in a short time, my workshops start a growth process that enables the child to look at himself more positively.

``For example, I have a game where I write `I am' on the board and ask the kids to complete it. Most kids come up with `I am not good at studies,' or `I am not good-looking.' Only 25 per cent say positive things about themselves. It is amazing how schools play such a major role in a child's life - most of these statements are related to their achievements in school.

``One of the things I make them do after the workshop is keep a `I am valuable' book where they have to write down at least five good things about themselves everyday. This way, a child slowly unlearns negative feelings and starts to look at himself positively.''

Considering the success of these workshops (Makar has to refuse parents to limit the number to 15 while Kudale and the four partners of Child Guidance and Counselling Centre (CGCC) are besieged with demands for more workshops), one would think that parents, who play such a major role in developing a child's personality, must be going wrong somewhere.

Says Zaheeda Merchant, CGCC, ``It's not as if parents are going wrong, it's just that we provide opportunities. For example, how many children actually get to speak before an audience? Besides, children work hard at school and rarely have the time to enjoy other aspects of life. At our workshops, they learn whilst enjoying the whole experience.''

``Besides,'' says Kudale ``parents want the end product to be great. If their child is shy, they want him to overcome his shyness.'' If Life is going to be a challenge, kids of these personality classes will be better equipped to deal with it. Or so it seems.