Now people are scared to boast that they wed their son / daughter in an aeroplane, fast train or even a yellow submarine. Instead, weddings are over so fast that in days of yore people would've suspected that the bride was pregnant or the wedding was a shotgun one. Guest lists have been chopped from 2,500 people to intimate tete-a-tetes for 200 close friends. The bride is no longer boasting of getting hertrousseau or wedding outfit from Milan, London or Shahab Durazi. Now, it's safer to say, "I am wearing my grandmother's wedding outfit." That way you can speak volumes about old money without stinking of noveau trash. We hear, as a direct fall-out, one wedding dresser -- very popular with the NRIs -- has had to shut shop. Weddings are happening but no one can afford to pay Rs one lakh for an outfit.

But guess what? Not just the rich and famous are counting pennies. According to our sources, the underworld has become so organised that it seems some hotshot accounting firm has drawn up their rates. They have a fixed sum per item -- if you bought a Zen chances are any extortionist will ask for the same amount. And if it is heard that a wedding is in the family, and your gross worth is common knowledge, never fear -- the rate is a fixed x per cent of your profits. At the end of the day, the sum is really greater than the whole.