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Sumanto Chattopadhyay
Dear Sachin,
Hi! You almost certainly don't know me, but I feel like I know you. I guess it's because I've seen so much of you. Oh, I don't mean the cricket bit.
I was talking about all the other amazing stuff you do-like making that funny brushing sound when you flash your pearly whites. I've noticed that it really bowls people over. (Sorry. Couldn't resist the pun.) Why, the other day, when you walked into your surprise party, you surprised the others more than they surprised you, thanks to your million rupee sound-effects-wala smile.
And I love the way you surprise your teammates. No, no. Not with your batting. It's the way you use that credit card to repair helmets and things. Wow!
No doubt, your greatest skills are still displayed on the cricket pitch. I know you're one of the world's greatest cricketers. But still. I was stunned by what I saw that day. You jumped up to hit the ball, then froze in midair and spun, without moving a muscle. I was so moved, I involuntarily squeezed the glassI was holding really hard. It imploded in my hand. Had to get stitches and all. But hey, it was worth it.
Don't you just love ads? I do! Oh, I forgot to tell you, I make ads for a living. Come to think of it, so do you. Funny we haven't met.
And now I don't know if we ever will. Not if I go by the advice of ad guru Piyush Pandey. The other day he was reviewing last year's advertising at the Ad Club. He talked about how dismal the ad scene looked in 1998. How ads were often big on production budgets, small on ideas. Your teammates and you were in quite a few of these ads.
But I must admit all you guys have excellent teeth. I guess it's an important asset - all those victory smiles you have to give for the TV cameras. Too bad your teammates' hair isn't that healthy. (Nothing a good shampoo with Clinic Plus won't fix of course.)
Don't get the wrong idea about Piyush Pandey. He's quite a sporting fellow. He loves cricket. Well, maybe he's never eaten or slept cricket, but he has played it. (For the RanjiTrophy, no less.) Probably why he thinks cricketers should spend more time playing cricket and less time doing ads. It would save advertisers a pile of money. Ad agencies, on the other hand, would have to work much harder - to think up ads which don't rely on celebrity endorsements to make their point.
Piyush wasn't singling you out for criticism. He ripped apart quite a few ads you and your mates had nothing to do with. For example, there was a whole bunch of ads that, like our Hindi movies, relied on song-and-dance routines to cover up their lack of ideas. Like the one with the jingle bal baal dekho... Oh God, I just realised that was a shampoo ad too. (Is hair washing an Indian obsession? I mean, I know we've contributed the word shampoo to the English language, but isn't this going a bit too far?)If you're still feeling nettled by Piyush's remarks about cricketers, let me assure you that the final message of his presentation was quite complimentary towards you guys. He said that while weshouldn't necessarily use you as models, you should certainly be our role models. Because we too want to win international acclaim for what we do. And who better to teach us that than the Little Master Ten.
Keep smiling. (32 all out)
Yours etc,
Sumanto
Sumanto Chattopadhyay is associate creative director at Ogilvy & Mather Advertising. His opinions, however, are not necessarily shared by his employers.
Copyright © 1999 Indian Express Newspapers (Bombay) Ltd.
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This story was printed from Net Express located at http://www.expressindia.com. Net Express provides a portal to India, with news from The Indian Express and The Financial Express along with sites on travel and tourism, the entertainment industry, the power sector, the environment and much more.
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