Has it ever happened to you? Watching a film with utmost concentration-cum-dedication and, for the next two days, scratching your numb head, wondering what hit you? Perhaps the film is too complex for your uninitiated brain. Or then, maybe, the director's perception of time, space and logic is different from yours -- in which case, you're obviously bound to miss the point.

Arzoo falls in the latter category. So, you might wonder how characters who're zooming around in obscene sports cars at Bandstand one moment at least that's what you are given to believe -- suddenly find themselves in England, Scotland, Switzerland, or any other land, for that matter, all in a flash. You may not even have any conclusive idea about the exact location of their permanent residence after all the 17 reels are done. But that's only because you are narrow-minded. For, director Lawrence D'Souza is a true believer in the `global village' theory -- and like Richard Bach, he's attained that elevated state of beingwhere superficial concepts like time and space are completely irrelevant.

It is in the light of all these observations that Arzoo must be understood and appreciated. As for its story, you might again, foolishly conclude that it's a re-hash of innumerable love-triangles from Sangam to Arzoo (the old one), to the more recent Imtihaan and everything in between. But it's not.This is an original story about Pooja (Madhuri Dixit) who falls in love with Vijay (Akshay Kumar) after he does the usual harass-her-into-submission routine. Her childhood `best-friend' Amar (Saif Ali Khan) comes back (to wherever, from wherever) and expresses his desire to marry her. But when he finds that she's in love with another man, he quickly steps out of the way, and even befriends her boyfriend. Then there's an accident, Vijay is presumed dead, Pooja finds she's pregnant and Amar swiftly jumps at this opportunity (gallantly, of course) to marry his lady love. A child and a few years later, Vijay comes back and you wait for thepainful journey to the end (where one of the two men is bound to make the ultimate sacrifice).Now about the pros and the cons -- actually, let's stick to the pros, since that's easy. D'Souza's cinematography -- or rather his choice of `global' locations -- is the one thing that really stands out of the general confusion. But let's not get into other mundane nitty-gritties like the dialogues, direction and music, since that needs a deeper study.

Actually we could also leave out the performances -- Amrish Puri is unintentionally funny, ditto for Akshay Kumar. Madhuri tries very hard to pull off the impish, giggly maiden-in-love -- with tight shorter-than-the-shortest skirts -- without much success. Perhaps she should pick slightly better roles that do justice to her talent. And that leaves Saif Ali Khan, who, by default, is the pick of the cast -- at least his character has some consistency and credibility.

So, lock yourself safe and sound at home, just in case you have an inexplicable urge to watch Arzoo-- or then get really brave and step out at your own risk.

Showing at: Metro, Cinemax

-- DEEPA DEOSTHALEE