Suspected to be an Army informer, pro-Pakistan militants of the Hizb-ul-Mujahideen mowed down Ghulam Hassan Lone, his daughter and two sons. Four of his smaller children and his wife, Raja, had a providential escape when the grenade the militants hurled into their peasant's hovel failed to explode.

Accused of assisting a militant get away, Lone's 50-year-old cousin, Gani Lone, was shot dead in cold blood allegedly by jawans of the 19 Rashtriya Rifles. Two of his fellow peasants working alongside him also got a taste of the forces' heavy-handed methods to terrorise militant sympathisers. While former cop Mohammad Ahsan Wani got an AK burst in his leg, Mohammmad Ashraf Khan got a bullet through each foot.

The Lonefamily deaths added to the general belief of 70,000 people killed over the past decade of violence, although Government estimates are less than half that figure. "For three nights after the militants struck at Ghulam Hassan, the entire village did not sleep. Now four to five families congregate in one house to pass the night. We are totally at the mercy of gunmen because the Army came to the village four hours after the militants had fired dozens of rounds to kill Lone and three of his children," said Ali Mohammad.

Lilam's children are those nurtured by a culture of violence and do not know what peace is. Witnesses to the killings, Lone's youngest kids, Asif (4) and Pakeezah (6) have been sent to neighbouring Kakroosa village because they scream in terror when in Lilam. His father's killing haunts the eldest surviving son, Mohammad Abbas (9). "I dream at night that militants are coming to kill my father and that my brother, Irshad, is telling me to hide him," said Abbas.

A fierce gunbattle last Augustleft the school children terrorised. "Rocket launchers boomed through the village and we were marooned in the school till 8.30 pm. Our teachers told us to lie low and all of us were screaming in fear of being hit by bullets that were flying all over the place," recounts Zahid Hassan (11).

Children can study only till 7 pm because the lights in Lilam are extinguished. Cricket commentary on radio is barely audible outside the quilt. Any sign of activity in a house is an invitation to militants to spend the night there. "If the Army gets to know militants have taken shelter in a house, there is indiscriminate beating the next day," said Zahid, whose terror of the olive green uniform stems from the many beatings he is witness to.

From the days of kissing the Kalashnikov, Kashmiris now want to kick it. Militants, villagers say, now get a cold shoulder and gone are the days when people flocked to ogle at the gun-toting "freedom fighters".

The `return to normalcy' claim of the Government is lost on thevillagers. To them the difference between Sringar and Lilam is like between heaven and hell. Even those villagers with a separatist political inclination want an escape from this mindless violence. "We want azaadi from India but through the ballot and not the bullet," said Ghulam Mohammad.

Power flows from the barrel of the Kalashnikov and has brutalised the sensibilities of Kashmiris nurtured on the pacifism of a Sufi culture. "Only the families of those are spared who wield a gun, whether on the Government's side or the militants. I, too, sometimes think of picking up the gun to safeguard my family," said a middle-aged Abdul Rahim.

Women and children are the worst victims of this gun culture. Their only concern is azaadi from the violence. "For the last eight years, we have not been able to get wood from the neighbouring forests, fearing molestation by gunmen of all hues," said Nasreena.

To compound the terror is the syndrome of extreme backwardness. Electricity once in 15 days, drinkingwater from filthy nullahs, one teacher for every 100 children. No official senior than the patwari has visited. Kupwara DC Syed Yasin Shah promised to visit Lilam in May. "I will ensure that officials visit the village and attend to the grievances," said Shah.

The Army's 6 PARA, however, evokes approval from the villagers. "We have no complaint against the 6 PARA because it is doing its job of killing militants. It has shot 11 militants since last November and has not harassed a single innocent civilian. But the 19 RR has got no success since August last and takes out its failure on the people. It interferes in personal disputes and anti-India sentiments then bristle in the village," said Nazir Ahmad, who is an avowedly pro azaadi Kashmiri.

A senior officer of 28 Infantry Division confirmed that the 19 RR was being moved out of Kashmir. "One of the reasons for it being moved out is the steady flow of complaints against it," he said.

However, when contacted for comment, an officer of the 19RR denied all charges and put them down to the pro-militant propaganda rumour mills. "We are not in charge of the Lilam area now," he said. The officer also said Lilam was a hotbed of militant sympathisers.