For, who can take on the wrath of a star son in the throes of his nth comeback, aided and abetted by a gallery of quirks and a determined father-cum-director? In his zeal to ensure that this magnum opus draws in the desh bhakts in hordes, Mr Kumar lends a whole new dimension to the word `preposterous'. One of the most memorable scenes in his masterpiece has a pleasantly plump (that's as polite as it gets) Shilpa Shirodkar shedding her jazzyghagra-choli piece-by-piece and setting it ablaze to generate `light' for some complicated surgery Dr Manisha Koirala is performing on injured armyman Kunal Goswami in a tent!

Or then you have Goswamiji wooing his lady love with lines like, Yeh to ho hi nahin sakta, ki main kanta daloon aur machchli na phanse'. Now, that's not crass, it's an `aesthetic' bait for anyone in search of cheap thrills.

Apart from all this, there are dreaded terrorists in Kashmir, an assortment of Hindu refugees in garish costumes at some transit camp with their dedicated Muslim friends keeping them company and two over-the-hill warring Colonels.

Laxmikant-Pyarelal's music is insufferable -- it's truly sad because this film will go down in history as their swansong. Of the cast, Rishi Kapoor looks like he landed himself on the wrong set in the wrong decade and just couldn't get out. Raveena Tandon has all of three scenes where she has nothing to do. Manisha Koirala should perhaps hire a strategic consultant tohandle her career -- she obviously needs serious help with her choice of films.

As for Kunal Goswami, it's not his fault, really. If you're the great Son-of-India's son, it's automatically your moral responsibility to save the nation, film after film -- even if it means torturing unsuspecting masses.

Showing at: Minerva