Three movies are currently thundering their way across the American landscape: Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Notting Hill and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. All have been marketed as ``summer blockbusters,'' and last week in New York, I suffered all three back to back.

Despite the trio's ludicrous plotlines, film-goers are pouring into halls around the country. Blockbuster season is in full swing. Magazines boast exclusive interviews with lead stars; themed soundtracks bellow from record stores; billboards yell, `The event to see this summer.' And as is only to be expected, corporate behemoths -- McDonald's, KFC, Pepsi, Coca-Cola, TacoBell, Burger King, Virgin Records, Macy's and Denny's -- have climbed on to the backs of all three movies. Why are we flocking to this regurgitated garbage? There's only one answer: we, the viewers, are innately gullible. Sentimental affection for old favourites explains the phenomenal success -- at least in terms of box-office receipts -- of all three films. Each of them is a sequel and a slave to a tried and tested formula: re-evaluating and hawking the same thrills and spills to audiences previously won over by the originals.

Little wonder an overpowering nausea brought about by deja vu limits the success of all three cash cows. At the screening of the new Star Wars movie that I attended, the audience whooped and hollered at the first mention of androids R2-D2 and C3P0. ``Kick some Dark Side ass,'' yelled one spectator from the back of the auditorium. But the cheers quickly subsided as brain cells collapsed from a lack of sensory input. A few dared to leave; others muttered profanities indisbelief. I grabbed a complaint form by the exit: ``Did anything disrupt your enjoyment of the evening?'' asked the black font set against a popcorn backdrop. ``Only the movie,'' I noted.``You can write this ****, but you sure can't say it,'' exclaimed Harrison Ford to director George Lucas during the making of the first Star Wars movie, almost 20 years ago. These days, discerning American mainstream cinema-goers might be forgiven for considering a slightly more contemptuous motion: You can pay for this ****, but you sure can't watch it.