The social register

The social register

It is now evident that cupid is just a fat kid with bad aim. Otherwise on Valentine's Day the whole world would fall in love. But that is far from true. There are some people who, in spite of hefty doses of love potion, could never end up together. Purely based on hearsay and onscreen personas here are five couples who would opt for death rather than say `till death do us part' (P S: We suggest some one take the bow and arrow away from the winged angel -- children should not play with sharp objects):

MTV's funny man might be just the perfect medicine for Alpviram's Pallavi Joshi. He makes bakras out of people, she wanders around looking like a lost lamb. He is always laughing till tears run out from his eyes, she is weeping buckets. If they were to meet, sparks could never fly. They would be washed out in a flood of tears!

SONU NIGAM & POOJA BHATT:
He believes that women should stay at home, Ms Bhatt wears the tag of man-eater with ease. Imagine what would happen if theworld's most old-fashioned and uptight male met with Bombay's most bindaas babe. He would be forced to shed his inhibitions as soon as she began to shed light on her past. Otherwise poor Mr Virtuous would get a highly-deserved tongue lashing that only the shoot-from-the hip Ms Bhatt can deliver.

ANAMIKA & RAHUL BOSE:
Dil diya or not, this catwalk singer with a penchant for leopard skin tights and weird headgear would look like an alien next to the suave Rahul Bose. If they got together by some cruel twist of fate we suspect the Split Wide Open star -- who has wowed audiences with his clipped diction on screen and classy attire off screen -- would even insist on separate photo frames.

NANDITA DAS & KRISHEN KUMAR:
The classy actress whose ethnic clothes, big tikkas and long flowing tresses (now shorn) would look like a fish out of water next to Gulshan Kumar's younger brother's flash-dash sans class. Better known for his white pants worn to match hisforeign-made white car, Kumar looks at home only in gardens filled with a riot of flowers. Das, on the other hand, would look lush by the banks of a river, like, the Ganges!

SIMI GAREWAL & GOVINDA:
The lady is white would be the perfect foil to the uncontrolled chaos Govinda likes to sport on his chest. Imagine the highly-successful television hostess charging around singing "What is mobile number?" and then imagine Chi Chi sitting perfectly still, with his legs crossed, asking Ratan Tata gentle and probing questions. It boggles the mind! It boggles the mind! Such a union cannot, should not exist even in the imagination.